July 2014

Melanie

• 5 teeth - 3 on the bottom, 2 on the top, and getting a molar on the bottom
• Still likes to whistle
• Can wink with one eye
• Goes to bed at 8:30pm
• Loves playing at water parks
• Likes cuddling with Kitty and putting her head on her side. She loves fuzzy blankets & pillows too.
• She gets hot when she sleeps, just like mommy.
• Screams and waves her arms when you get her tricycle out.
• Puts her cup on the table when she's done drinking, instead of throwing it on the floor.
• Likes to take drinks when Connor does.
• 7/23 - Melanie and I were playing chase last night and she'd crawl toward me and when I was about to get her, she'd go flat on the ground and giggle into the carpet.

Connor

• 5 teeth - 3 on the top, 2 on the bottom
• Loves going to sleep. We usually bathe them and then put them to bed, but last night we did bath time a little early. When we went down stairs, he started crying and didn't stop until I brought him upstairs and put him in bed.
• Goes to bed at 8:30pm
• Loves playing at water parks
• Goes up and down stairs on his own
• 7/14 - Starting to "help" with things. I dropped a bib this morning and asked him to pick it up and carry it to the kitchen. He did it.
• Puts his cup on the table when he's done drinking, instead of throwing it on the floor.
• 7/23 - Connor runs away from me when I ask him for a kiss in the morning.

April 2014

Jason lost his job.
I lost my job this week.
We have enough money to last a few months, but are moving to Arizona on May 23rd. Scary, stressful, sad. I guess it's the 3 S's.
Packing is my life now.

Melanie

• Says Kitty - tuh-kih-tee
• Claps
• Said "Dada" tonight when Jason came out to get her out of the car.
• Said "Mama!" when I picked her up from daycare one day.

Connor

• Is SO close to walking. I actually think he walks when we aren't looking. LOL
• Sometimes cries, stops to check and see if you're watching, then resumes crying if you are.
• Eats everything except spinach & green beans. He even loves spicy food.

They are at a wonderful daycare, La Casita, with Miss Patty (Patricia Moros) and Miss Claudia. They get to hear English & Spanish. She has a wonderful yard and they are outside a lot, which I love. The inside area is very well organized & full of toys. I hate to switch daycares again. They are so wonderful. We've been so lucky.

Today is one for the records...

I really want to start writing more, so I can go back and relive some of the moments that I cherish most everyday.

Connor finally started getting his first tooth a couple of weeks ago at almost 11 months. Melanie has 2 now.

Saturday, March 1, Jason was cooking & I was feeding the babies. His back was to them & Melanie was kind of yell-grunting to get his attention. She finally raised her hand and, as if something just CLICKED, she said, "HI! HI!" Jason turned around and she was thrilled. She's been doing it ever since. She says hi to the car when we get out, says hi to the sign at daycare when we get there and when we leave, and she said hi to the door today when Jason brought her in from the car. It's absolutely the cutest thing I've ever seen. Although her first word was "mama" or "ama," she uses that word anytime she wants something, to be picked up, fed, whatever, but I feel like "Hi!" is really her first word because she understands she is communicating AND she repeats it when you do it. She's even said hi to the grandparents on Skype.

I'm almost done pumping. I've made it 11 months. While I feel lucky to have been able to nourish my children, give them antibodies & other good stuff, it has been A LOT of work. I hate having to go sit in a room alone for 30 minutes when we are visiting with friends or family. It's a pain to watch babies, keep them out of stuff, keep them away from the pump & hoses & keep them from pulling it off onto the floor. It's frustrating to be tethered to a machine! Only 21 more days. Oddly enough, as much as I hate it, I get a little freaked out about stopping. This is the ONE time in my life I will lactate. I have no plans to have more children, so once I stop, there's no going back. It's such an amazing thing, so have provided the ONLY food my TWO babies survived on for the first 6 months of their lives. We did supplement with formula here and there, but most of their meals were breast milk. It really is an intense feeling to know that you have provided for 2 amazing little people in so many ways.

Now to the reason today is one for the records: Jason lost his job. It's been a long time coming. He really needed to make the change himself, but we were hoping that the company would, after him working there for 6 years, lay him off and give him a severance. He didn't get a severance.

So where does this leave us? Well, for a while the plan has been to move to Arizona. The cost of living is considerably cheaper than it is here on the beautiful California coast. For starters, we will pay $1200-1400 rent for a house the same size we are in now (4 bdrm, ~2000 sq ft). Now we pay $2800. We are going to start looking for jobs there & see what happens.

What will I miss? The temperate weather. The house we moved into together after only being together 5 months. The room where he proposed to me. Our babies' first room. And memories before this... Living in Motel 6, one coworker's guest room (John Perlin), & another coworkers extra room for 7 weeks while I looked for a place here. Having a clothes bar in the back seat of my Passat for my closet & plastic drawers in my trunk for other stuff. My apartment where I lived alone for 5 years.

And our friends. Dan, Holly, Aubrey, Gayle. I will miss them a lot.

What I will miss most about pregnancy

1. Feeling the babies kick! I absolutely LOVE it.
2. Eating. Eating a lot. Then eating some more. Oh, and not gaining weight. And needing to eat more so I gain weight.
3. Quiet. I'm sure I will miss that.
4. Boredom. Although I don't miss it right now, I know I will wish I was bored in a couple of months!
5. Having an excuse for EVERYTHING!

Week 6 - Hell Week

Hey!

Well this week has really beat all... Mastitis for me with a 103 fever and then Jason got the stomach flu. I guess I am thankful it didn't happen the same day! Babies want to be fed small amounts constantly, which isn't fun with 2. Feed one, feed the other, pump, wait, no, feed the first one again, okay now I can pump, aw crap, feed the second one again. It's vicious.
I think I need to stop trying to breastfeed & just pump. They go back and forth with how well they latch, but the end result is always the same: I still have to pump & bottle feed them. I don't know why they can't get enough on the breast but it's just too much to breastfeed, pump, and bottle feed each one. I'd never sleep again!

Why You Need To Remember To Eat When Pregnant with Twins, or How to Ruin Valentine’s Dinner

31 weeks, 3 days

The last few weeks I’ve managed this delicate balance between eating enough and dealing with the horrendous indigestion that I have on a daily basis. When both babies are breech with their heads on your stomach, there just isn’t much room in there. I’m taking prescription medicine for the indigestion, but one night it was so bad, I had to get up and make myself throw up just so I could sleep.

Well last night my husband, Jason, and I had plans to go out to dinner. I felt a little hungry at 4, but I was working and quickly forgot about it, since my hunger signal is so weak right now. If only it were like this when I’m NOT pregnant, I would be a size 6!!! At 5:00 he said he would be home in a couple of minutes and we could leave for dinner right away. At that point, I figured I could make it 30 minutes more without food, so I decided to wait.

He didn’t get home till 5:40, so we headed out to dinner pretty quickly. I ordered food, we chatted, and I drank a little bit of root beer.

I told him I was feeling a little funny. I had had a sip of his beer and was like, there’s no way that one sip of beer made me feel like this! I hadn’t made the connection that this was now beyond hunger. My stomach still wasn’t really telling me I was hungry.

The waitress brought the food. Right as I leaned forward and started to eat, my ears started ringing. I started getting sweaty and clammy and my eyesight started to dim. I told Jason what was going on and he was very calm. He had me put my feet up in his lap, told me to drink the root beer, in case my blood sugar was low, & to keep eating. I did and started to feel better. I was still only able to much on the fries & drink a little root beer. Couldn’t even touch my burger at this point.

After a few minutes, it started to fade, so I started eating my burger. I was a sweaty mess! As soon as I put my feet down, it started again, but this time quicker and I couldn’t make it go away. I was almost completely blacked out and told Jason he had to help me. I was kind of freaking out. I didn’t want to ruin dinner, I didn’t want to pass out in public, I didn’t want to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance if someone called 911… So he took me to the bench in the front waiting area of the restaurant. I laid down and put my feet up, which immediately made the dizziness and passing out feeling go away, but I felt like such a DOOF laying on a bench in the restaurant.

Jason quickly paid the bill, our waitress, who knew I wasn’t feeling well, had already packaged up my dinner. Our friend, the restaurant owner, came out and made sure I was doing okay. Jason went and got the car and took me home.

I ate half the burger in the car on the way home, with the seat leaned back. I apologized to Jason for being such an idiot and not eating. Lesson learned!

This won’t happen again. I’m going to eat right now!

TO THE PAIN! (I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.)

In my world, the word "blogger" is synonymous with the word "slacker."

I often think about writing, but rarely actually do it.

So anyway, here's where we are now:

I'm 26 weeks, measuring the same fundal height as a woman who is pregnant with a singleton at 36 weeks. The OB says that this means if I go to term (37 weeks, March 25th), I will measure somewhere around 45-50 weeks. Ouchie.

On that note, she is doubtful I will make it that far. Everything looks good, but with the babies gaining 1/2 a pound a week (each), she's thinking I will be lucky to make it into March at all.

OMG! I AM NOT READY!!! I need till March to get my brain in the right place & I really want these babies to stay in until they are big & healthy, even if that means being terribly uncomfortable and whiny.

The babies are moving like crazy. Two nights ago they woke me up kicking for the first time. I was like, "Who is touching me?!?!?" and then realized it was inside! I still love every move they make. As of right now, they have been moving almost non-stop since 4pm, and it's 9:12pm. It might be 90% nothing, but here's a video of my bouncy belly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K23__NsSe7w. Specifically check out 0:50 and 1:20, just to the left of the center of the screen. For me, it's super fun to watch. :)

I have a bag of medicine that I carry around with me. It contains: Pepcid AC, a thermometer, Tylenol, Robitussin DM, cough medicine with codeine, stretch oil & lotion for my belly, antihistamine, chap stick, & saline nasal spray. I don't use all of this stuff on a regular basis, but it is just easier to have it all with me than truck up & down stairs to get it.

Umm, so about 4 weeks ago I pulled a muscle coughing hard. Between the stretching & coughing, my ribs couldn't take it. The OB made me see an ear, nose, & throat specialist to see if she could help get my cough under control. When I left her office, I went to the public restroom in the building & as I sat down, the broken toilet seat tossed me off to the side & I almost fell on the floor, further injuring myself. BTW, the ENT visit did absolutely nothing as I was already doing what she recommended. :(

So I've been getting gradually better, but this was to the point that everything hurt... Sneezing, turning corners in the car (I have only driven maybe 4 times in the last 4 weeks or so), deep breathing, & let's not even talk about how hard it is to turn over & get in & out of bed. But this weekend I was feeling really good. I did some light cleaning, vacuumed, straightened up a bit. I was finally getting back to where I felt normal, until today... I was reclined with my arms up over the back of the chair and had a sudden sneeze. It tore through my rib cage and just about killed me. Not only am I hurting again, but it's worse than it was the first time. I see a lot of laying around in my future. :(

I talked to my mom tonight, which helped me feel better, & was telling her about how THIS is just not me. I am not a whining, complaining, aching, crying person. I am strong and I deal with stuff and I move on, but pregnancy is different. This is by far the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life. I guess anything else that gave me this many problems, I would have quit long ago, but obviously I can't quit this.

So today was a lot of crying, feeling very alone, "why me's," and wishing it was March 25th now, then came the moment when I read some incredibly wise words from my friend Monique (who happens to be a doctor):
"This is not in response to anyone's comments, just something I've said for a while. I bet you've caught on to the phenomenon of pregnancy where it seems like everyone around you doesn't care about your suffering anymore. I think because pregnancy and delivery require so much of a woman, that people become desensitized by it or something. Seriously, it's like so long as you're pregnant you could have blood oozing out your eye balls or a fork stabbed into your thigh and people would say, "oh, sorry, yeah, that's too bad." --M"

She totally brought the day, and the whole experience into perspective and made me feel so much better. Thanks M! Much love coming your way today! <3

And if you caught the title of my post & what it refers to, kudos!